Back in Boulder...

It seems surreal that not long ago I was in South Africa, waking up early to trek up a hill to get to class at the University of Cape Town or enjoying the day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and minute-to-minute schedules that were pre-set for me. I know find myself back in my comfort zone and familiar surroundings, sitting at the Tea Box in Boulder Colorado. A month after my experience of studying the topic of reconciliation in South Africa I look back at the entirety of my trip and aim to write from a more “mindful” perspective. What have I felt and tracked in the present moments since I have been back? How have my physical and emotional feelings changed since being back? How have they been impacted by what I experienced and engaged in while in South Africa?

Being back in Boulder, I have realized that South Africa tore away a strong sense of my personal identity. Although I was the same person that I have continuously been for the past few years and for the interiority of my life. Being in South Africa somehow brought me down to a more fundamental essence of my being. Who am I? What do I do? Etc. I found myself interacting with people that weren’t sure as to consider me coloured or white. I was David a Norlin Scholar student studying reconciliation in South Africa. I now realize that I was constantly engaged in thinking about race. What race is that person, what race is this person, how would they self identify, how was their past like? How were the lives of their parents? Constantly talking about reconciliation, diversity and integration I felt as though I could never escape the thought of race and how it has and continues to play out in South Africa. With the strong sense of noticing race, I quickly realized that there were no Latinos in South Africa and that a sense of my racial community was non-existent. I know feel safe and secure by knowing how I fit into the community of Boulder, into the community of my work, into the community of the space that I live in. I recall several conversations where people aim not to see race or the colour of one’s skin and yet I was constantly aware of this. I would not be who I am if it wasn’t for the color of my skin and the history of my parents.

I am struck by how many white people I see here in Boulder and at the same time I am also struck by how I see them in comparison to how I saw white people in South Africa. It is so easy to become blind to the historical struggles of the United States as many people living in privilege do not become aware of the structural violence that continues to exist around racial and socio-economical groupings. The history of South Africa on the other hand seems to be much more fresh and apparent in the present day. I think that this mentality is where the work of my final project will take me. I wish to explore the segregation or race that takes place in the United States and work in making it more apparent in order to use parallel reconciliation practices that will aim at creating a more inclusive community where people are better aware of their racial privileges.

I am now more aware of who I am and how I view the world and the people in it. I feel like I better understand the human condition and the communities that are built from common experiences. I now see race from a different perspective and recognize that importance that it can play in building strong self-identities….